In the interest of having more fun AND helping love-sick readers, I've decided to launch my very own Love, Sex Advice Column. WHY? Well, since Dr. Laura is retiring from radio, SOMEBODY with dubious credentials needs to take her place! ;P
Seriously, though. I get all kinds of emails and some of them even ask for my advice WHICH THEY SHOULD NOT DO SINCE I AM NOT A QUALIFIED ADVICE-ER. But, hey. I love doling out advice, solicited or otherwise. Because it's fun, peeps.
And who doesn't need more fun, am I right?
Plus also, I can TOTALLY be objective about other people's problems. My own? Not so much.
So, anyhoo, I envision this column as a collaborative effort. I'll give my opinion and then I want my awesome readers to weigh in with THEIR advice, too (because you KNOW you love to hand out advice!). It takes a village, amen?
Hopefully, this column will run once per week. Or once per year. It ALL depends on you and whether you send more emails asking for advice.
[PLEASE SEND EMAILS ASKING FOR ADVICE! Anonymous submissions OK!]
Wow. I sound like a used car salesman. BAD CREDIT OK! $0 DOWN! SEND EMAIL NOW!
Moving on.
So, here is my first Advice Column taken from a real email exchange I had with a lovely young woman searching for love.
Aaaaaaand lights, camera, ADVICE!
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Today's letter comes from a 20-something single living in Atlanta, Georgia.
Dear EE:
I met a guy at church last January and we became good friends. He's very supportive about things that are important to me. I started having romantic feelings for him a few months ago but just found out that he doesn't feel the same way. I'm not sure he knows how I feel about him (although I thought I made it obvious). I don't know how to get over him! But I really don't want to lose the friendship. What should I do?
--Lonely in Atlanta
Dear Lonely,
If he's made it clear that he's not interested and you still have feelings for him--it's time to place the "friendship" on hold. Your ability to be a good, platonic friend is compromised by your romantic feelings.
For example, he may want to chat as "just friends" and since you'd do anything just to be near him (even if you're only chatting about the weather!), you'll agree to hang out. But if you continue to hang out with him and especially if you start sharing emotionally sensitive information, you are building bonds that make him seem irreplaceable. I only see this causing more pain and frustration for you.
Until your romantic feelings have subsided, the wisest thing to do is to not spend time with him. AT ALL. Physical separation is the quickest way to get over emotional connection.
It's time to cut the ties that bind. Find other friends to lean on--preferably girlfriends.
p.s. I'm pretty sure he knows you have/had feelings for him. Guys tend to pick up on that. :)
p.p.s. Which leads me to remind you that a gentleman never takes advantage of a woman's feelings. If he knows you liked him and he still invites you to coffee and/or calls you on the phone? He's sending mixed messages which can also be translated as: using you.
You're worth more than that!
With best wishes for finding true love, EE.
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If you'd like some love help from The Advice Fair-EE, send me an email with the subject line: ADVICE.
BE SURE to share your advice with "Lonely" in the comment box!
Or just say hello in the comment box. Or chat about allergy meds. Or coffee.
You know, the usual.
Also? SUBSCRIBE!
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